Episode 3
3 | Eating Frogs & Everything Showers | A Little Bit Bothered
In this episode of A Little Bit Bothered, the girls have a wild game of 'Would You Rather,' debating absurd scenarios—get ready to laugh! They also tackle some Reddit wedding drama where a bride uninvites a guest for missing the big day due to a family emergency. Let us know if you agree. The conversation heats up when one of the hosts shares how men trolled her online after she mentioned an "everything shower," accusing her of letting herself go. Plus, they discuss the double standards faced by working moms and stay-at-home dads. All the laughs and topics of a hilarious girls group chat. Tune in and join the conversation on social media!
Meet your hosts:
Kelsie @mynameiskelsie
Nicole @niclucchetti
Ashley @ashley.baileybonner
Monica @the.monicajean
Follow us @alittlebitbothered
Join us every Thursday for new episodes!!
Transcript
Yay, we're here, we're back!
Nicole (:Getting hype. We're back.
Ashley (:Woohoo! Welcome back to a little bit bothered podcast. You know that group chat where you run to share everything, the good, the bad, the ugly. That's what this is. And if you don't have that bestie group chat, now you do. We want to share in your wins, losses, and venting sessions. So make sure to follow us on a little bit bothered and join the community. But let's go ahead and see what we are bothered about today. And we are your hosts. I'm Ashley.
Nicole (:back again.
Kelsie (:I'm Kelsey.
Nicole (:I'm Nicole.
Monica (:And I'm Monica. Thank you guys so much for joining us today. We are so excited to dive into another episode of A Little Bit Bothered. But before we get there, we just want to say thank you guys so much to all of you who have been listening and all of you who tuned in with the launch of our podcast. Like we are so excited. This has been a dream we have been creating for several, several months now. And
Nicole (:it's so long.
Monica (:so long. And we were not expecting just all of the love and like the excitement around it like we hoped, but it was really exciting and all the messages we've been getting from you guys and just all of the listeners. So thank you so much. We are so excited just to continue to grow this community. And don't forget to reach out to us on any social media platform and send us any of your messages. We'd love to hear from you.
Ashley (:Hehehehe
Nicole (:huh.
Monica (:So today we are going to start off with something a little bit fun. Would you rather? So we've got some We've got some juicy questions. So I'm going to start us off as something that should be pretty interesting. We're going to start off with
Nicole (:Dun dun dun!
you
Kelsie (:Tch.
Nicole (:I'm scared.
Monica (:good question. I'm gonna start with you Ashley. So would you rather sweat mayonnaise or have to drink a glass of ketchup every single morning?
Ashley (:Ooh, okay. Okay.
Nicole (:Boom.
Ashley (:Wow, those are disgusting.
Monica (:So gross. I know Nicole, you're gonna make our listeners like gag in their car on the way to work.
Kelsie (:Nicole with the gag noises.
Ashley (:my god, you're literally, yeah.
Nicole (:That's my job. god, dude.
Ashley (:Good thing this question wasn't for you, Nicole.
I think I have to choose to drink the ketchup. How much ketchup? Does it say how much ketchup?
Monica (:no, but I would say at least like, like at least a coffee mug, like in the morning, like coffee mug, a glass. That is repulsive. Yeah, at least you could like hide that in your house. Like nobody would necessarily know. It's just like your weird habit in the morning.
Kelsie (:glass.
Nicole (:glass of ketchup.
Ashley (:Wow, that's gonna get expensive.
my god. That's repulsive, but I think I would have to choose the ketchup.
because...
Nicole (:I agree.
Ashley (:my god, I feel like you'd feel so disgusting all day long. And there's so much sugar.
Monica (:Kelsey's face right now. Kelsey cannot deal with this one.
Nicole (:reminds me.
Kelsie (:cant be me
Ashley (:But I couldn't sweat mayonnaise. That's out of the question. So I just, you can't do it.
Nicole (:No, yeah, no, that's out of question. You can't sweat mayonnaise Sorry.
Monica (:No. No. You'd have to have constant, you'd have to have like constant changes of clothes, especially living here in the desert. Like, you'd just be, you'd just...
Ashley (:Yeah, that's it, yeah.
Nicole (:You
That's not what I was gonna say. My first thought, the first thought that came to my mind when you said you would have to have constant, my thought was hamburger buns.
Ashley (:What?
Someone's gonna eat the mayonnaise. Stop.
Kelsie (:You found a way to make it grosser.
Nicole (:What?
Monica (:What's wrong with you?
Ashley (:Is that why you were gagging? That makes more sense now, actually.
Nicole (:No, because I was just gagging because they're both disgusting, but that I don't know where the No, definitely not. No. my god. Stop. I just that was because we were talking about condiments and that just So sorry, I apologize
Monica (:You're getting it.
Nicole's gonna eat your sweat is what's happening.
Ashley (:Okay. Okay, people.
Okay, that's repulsive. All right, I'm moving on. I'm choosing you, Nicole, and I don't even know which question I'm gonna ask yet. Okay, Nicole, Nicole, Nicole. Here you go, this one's good. Would you rather accidentally send a nude to your boss or your parents?
Nicole (:fuck.
Yes, please.
Monica (:Oof.
Nicole (:Both equally horrifying.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Nicole (:But I think boss, cause I could just quit my job. Bye, I quit two weeks. That's my, see you later. Bye. My parents, would be so, I'd be like, however my mom and I are like very, very close. I really probably don't think she would be weirded out. She'd probably just be like, are you kidding me right now? And I'd be like, oops, sorry. My bad. Just erase that for telling you never saw it.
Ashley (:You
Monica (:Peace.
Ashley (:Pretend that didn't happen, please.
Well, it's just because it's both parents. I know.
Kelsie (:feel like it definitely depends how erotic it is.
Nicole (:All right. True, that would depend on the level of what we're talking about here.
Monica (:Right.
Ashley (:Ugh.
Nicole (:Monica.
Monica (:Yes.
Nicole (:I choose you. I feel like Pokemon. Yup, was gonna say that every time I say I choose you. That's what I think of as fucking Pikachu. Monica, would you rather have to eat a whole raw onion every day or take a bite out of a live frog once? Yeah, so bad. This is gross. Where did these questions come from? Chad?
Monica (:Pikachu!
Ashley (:You
Chad.
Nicole (:He kinda did us dirty this time. Freakin' chad.
Monica (:Okay, the whole raw onion.
Ashley (:whole thing.
Nicole (:The whole raw onion, every day. One raw onion every single day.
Monica (:Am I allowed to put like sauces on this onion?
Ashley (:Catch up.
Nicole (:Hey, it doesn't it doesn't specify you just have to eat.
Kelsie (:It says raw and I feel like that means you have to raw dog it as is.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm. Yep.
Nicole (:How dare you use that term? First thing, five minutes in, raw dog, you.
Monica (:You can't, you can't like...
Ashley (:I'm sorry.
Kelsie (:You have to raw dog the onion.
Monica (:I hate that term. I hate that phrase so much.
Nicole (:We're bothered by raw dog. I mean, just no.
Ashley (:I'm not bothered by it.
Monica (:I hate it so much. It just like, gives me the ick in the same way that the word moist gives me the ick. I just don't like it.
Kelsie (:I'm not.
Ashley (:really?
Nicole (:that doesn't bother me. You know what word I don't like is snatch in reference to like, you know, down under. You don't like panties? That doesn't bother me either.
Ashley (:Mmm.
Kelsie (:Panties. I don't like the word panties.
Monica (:Yeah, I don't really care for that word either. Yeah. Okay.
Ashley (:that doesn't bother me. I don't know what word bothers me.
Nicole (:Okay, go answer the damn question, would you please?
Ashley (:Yeah.
Monica (:Okay, dang. I would have to go with the onion. Like, there's lots of people who like regularly eat. Like Nicole, doesn't your daughter just like regularly eat onions? Am I making that up?
Nicole (:I think.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Nicole (:The very tiny child yeah, well my husband my husband regularly eats onions so she'll go over and she'll ask him give me one and he'll say okay, and She eats it and doesn't care how spicy they are sometimes you just eat them
Monica (:Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it would be something that would grow on me and my taste buds would eventually stop being so repulsed. So I'm gonna go with the onion.
Nicole (:Yeah, I don't I Kelsey has a comment. She's raising her hand
And now she's dying.
Ashley (:she's...
Kelsie (:In elementary school, we had this new kid move to our school. And one of the first things that we ever heard about him was that
Nicole (:Stop right now. my God.
Ashley (:God. Onion Kid? God.
Kelsie (:He ate a frog?
Nicole (:No, you shut your mouth.
Ashley (:this poor kid.
Kelsie (:I still to this day don't know if that's really true or if that was just the elementary playground rumor mill, but it definitely was a thing that he was known as the kid that ate a frog.
Monica (:poor kid. That is so sad. I really hope for his sake though it's not true.
Nicole (:kids. I don't like that. That's so mean. Kids are mean. Kids are so mean.
Ashley (:That's tragic.
They are so mean.
Kelsie (:I mean, unless he really did eat the frog. And trust me, it's on the table.
Nicole (:well, to be fair, to be fair, I have eaten a frog. It was cooked, but I have still eaten a frog. I've eaten frog legs. Fuck off.
Monica (:Very different.
Kelsie (:Raw. He raw dogged the frog.
Ashley (:my God, the details come out.
Nicole (:If you say raw dog one more time, no, I'm just kidding.
Kelsie (:not with his mouth.
Monica (:Shut up!
my gosh, that is terrible.
Ashley (:I'd like it to be known that an onion a day is a crazy choice compared to just taking one bite out of a frog. Every day for the rest of your life, Monica, you'll turn into an onion.
Kelsie (:you
Nicole (:Yeah, no, they're not equivalents.
Monica (:Ashley.
Listen, it's.
Kelsie (:It didn't say you had to swallow the frog, it just said you had to take a bite out of it.
Nicole (:Okay.
Monica (:I don't freaking care. No. F you. No.
Ashley (:One time. One time. Done. An onion a day?
Nicole (:Fuck off.
Monica (:Listen.
Kelsie (:It also didn't say the frog had to be live, so maybe it could have just had bite of a frog or a lot of frog legs.
Nicole (:bitch.
Monica (:It didn't say, it did not say how big those onions need to be. Yeah. Yeah. It, yeah.
Ashley (:No, it did say live. A live frog. Yeah. You could have just bit off his foot.
Nicole (:It did say live. It says live frog. Yes. See, that's where my brain went. I was like, my brain was going to like, no, but you could I feel like an onion a day is doable. You chop that up and you put it on everything you eat during the day and there's your onion a day done. Done. It is raw. You can have it as a garnish.
Kelsie (:it does? Shit.
Monica (:You're a monster!
Ashley (:An onion a day is crazy, Monica.
Monica (:Listen, I... Yeah.
Ashley (:Ugh.
No raw. No, you have to raw dog the onion.
Monica (:Perfect. Yeah, it's still raw. And it didn't say which type of, listen, listen, it didn't say which type of onion and it didn't say how big the onion had to be. I would eat green onions all freaking day raw. Or how about the little spring onions? Sure, there you go. Listen, there's gray area here and onions are at least
Ashley (:No, you have eat it like an apple.
Nicole (:No, fuck off, I've done that. I've done that.
Ashley (:my God, green onions, that is a cop out, I think.
Nicole (:That is true. That is very true. You just... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pop that, pop one of those bitches in your mouth and you're done. Speaking of eating, eat... True.
Kelsie (:I think...
Monica (:Food? I'm not gonna kill a frog with my mouth.
Ashley (:Frog legs are a delicacy.
Kelsie (:PETA would be proud of you. PETA. Not PETA from Hunger Games, PETA from PETA.
Nicole (:Peta.
Ashley (:I thought you meant PETA from Hunger Games.
Monica (:with an accent.
Nicole (:And then my brain was like no pita, and then I did the same thing I went Hunger Games, and I was like no animal people There was like a series of events
Ashley (:I was full send on Hunger Games.
Monica (:I need a tissue.
Okay, all right, Kelsey, you ready? Would you rather have your browser history made public or never be able to delete your search history again?
Kelsie (:probably never be able to delete my search history.
Nicole (:I feel like that's good.
Monica (:Why?
Ashley (:Yeah.
Kelsie (:I'm not worried about anybody having to go look at my search history, but I don't need everyone to know what I Google.
Because I Google everything. Everything.
Nicole (:This I can see. I believe that.
Kelsie (:I'm a curious person. I like to have answers.
Monica (:Hahaha
I do get that. I do get that. I don't know how I survived without Google where currently if I have a question I'm like, wait a minute.
Nicole (:Mm
Ashley (:Chad.
Kelsie (:Although there are some things that like I can't Google this because even though it's just for the like innocent curiosity side of my brain, if someone ever did look at my search history, I'm not comfortable with them. Knowing that I searched this.
Nicole (:You don't go to Google, you go to Chad.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Monica (:Now I am very curious where your Google searches. yes.
Nicole (:Okay, well, same. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Agree, same. I would be implicating myself, for sure. They would, it's not, but yes. I would be suspect number one.
Kelsie (:I'm a crime junkie through and through and sometimes I want to Google things that if I ever was like, you know, yeah, and when it's not that serious, I just like to know how things work. And so now it's on this podcast to live in infamy. they'll just they'll or they'll think that's what a that's what a murderer would say. So now I'm incriminated no matter what. So
Monica (:Yeah.
Ashley (:Yeah.
Monica (:Here's your... It's your alibi. We know this about you now.
Ashley (:Yep.
Monica (:Hmm.
Nicole (:Exactly. I'm a very, very... Yep. Yep. I'm right behind you.
Kelsie (:That's actually one of my irrational fears as a child growing up was putting on being put on death row for something I didn't do so.
Monica (:Yes, same. I've had that fear too.
Nicole (:That's really funny. I getting in trouble for things that I didn't do sure, but not ever death row. that was something I was worried about. Yeah. Worst case scenario. That's like literally like the worst ever case scenario. But you know what? That's not uncommon. It has happened before. I mean, it's just so it's an actual fear.
Kelsie (:very, I used to, that used to keep me up at night.
Ashley (:man.
I never went as far as death row. I did think it would be terrible to be in prison.
Kelsie (:Worst case scenario, girly.
Monica (:Yeah, yeah, catastrophizing right here just
Kelsie (:Yeah.
Monica (:Hmm.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Kelsie (:I know it was a legitimate fear. I didn't know how legitimate it was at that age honestly
Monica (:I I still have that fear though of like being in prison for something I didn't do.
Nicole (:Well.
Kelsie (:Me too. I just feel like I am a little more rational about it. Like bitch, you don't break the law. Like what I mean, not that I guess that's the whole point is being innocent, but like it would be hard to believe honestly.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Monica (:Yeah.
Nicole (:my gosh, okay. So Kelsey, yeah, you had a generalized question for all of us.
Kelsie (:Okay.
Monica (:Okay Kelsey, you had a question.
Kelsie (:Yes.
Would you rather have fingers that scream every time you touch something or toes that never stop giggling?
Ashley (:my.
Nicole (:Giggly toes, giggly toes, giggly toes. So funny, so funny. I would love it. But then, but then I also was like, I kind of would actually like fingers that screamed too, because that would be really funny. You just touch something and it just like screams. so funny. I would die laughing every time.
Kelsie (:We do.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Kelsie (:I would love, I was picturing it. was like, toes that giggle, that's so cute.
Every time you touch something though, that would get, yeah, that would become very overstimulating so quickly.
Ashley (:That would get very inconvenient.
Monica (:I mean, stimulation. But I have a problem because if people are laughing, can't, like, I cannot not laugh.
Ashley (:Yeah.
Nicole (:yeah, you break. just hurl life. Monica and her toes just laughing, sitting there, hee hee hee hee, in the corner like, hee hee.
Kelsie (:Monica would just giggle her whole life. You'd be so healthy.
Ashley (:Monica and her toes.
Monica (:I'm just thinking about it.
Ashley (:Giggling forever.
You
Nicole (:So funny. That was actually my favorite question on this list, by the way.
Monica (:you
Ashley (:I hadn't read that one yet, that's kind of wild.
Monica (:my gosh.
Kelsie (:I've been waiting, I was like this, but if anyone picks it, I'm just done. I'm done.
Nicole (:I think it's so funny.
Ashley (:You
Nicole (:It's so funny.
Ashley (:so we all would choose the giggly toes. Kelsey, didn't you have a Reddit story to tell us and the listeners?
Nicole (:Mm
Kelsie (:I do. It's an am I the asshole but this is friendship. I the asshole and I feel like that's really going to be our jam. So am I the asshole for disengaging with my friend after she was upset that I can't make it to her wedding due to a family emergency?
Ashley (:Ooh, okay.
on brand.
Kelsie (:I'm meant to be a bridesmaid for my friend next week, but a very close family member has fallen seriously ill, so I'm having to immediately go to support them and my other family member.
Nicole (:You
Thank you for that.
Kelsie (:Edited to clarify because people were not understanding the gravity of the situation, the family member was her father. Her elderly father had a stroke and she had to go and help her mother, her elderly mother. She does not have any other family that can offer support. She said, I'm very aware wedding planning is stressful and this wedding has been no exception, although it's now been organized as a much smaller event.
I was meant to be one of only a few attendees. I let her know as soon as I could that whilst I would try my hardest to be there for her on the day, as I know her wedding means a lot to her and I have been very involved in planning and organizing and am meant to play a significant role, I just couldn't commit at this stage given the serious nature of what my family is going through. I called her as soon as I could to let her know as gently as possible and to assure her I would do everything I could to make it but just had to let her know.
that there is a chance I can't make it because my family member is currently in the hospital and I wanted to make I wanted to give her time to have a backup plan and she just hung up on me. Today she messaged me she hasn't asked if I'm okay and she's effectively uninvited me from the wedding as she says she can't deal with the uncertainty. She used the opportunity to tell me that it was my fault that she reacted as she did and went on to say we needed space from each other.
She then wanted to know if I'm still planning to come to her after party, which is a few days later. Am I being unreasonable that I would have expected at least a little support? I've been made to feel like I'm entirely at fault for ruining her day at the last minute. I'm also at fault for my wording apparently, even though I was just dealing with the shocking news my family member almost died and have been assured by others that actually I communicated very thoughtfully given the circumstances. She hasn't apologized. She hasn't offered any support or condolences.
Is she even my friend? I'm really struggling. Currently, I am simply not replying as I don't have the capacity to respond with any grace right now. Am I the asshole if I cannot respond to my friend who is treating me as I'm actively trying to ruin her wedding even though I have tried to support her despite also dealing with a family emergency and some of the worst days of my life?
Nicole (:not the asshole. Your friend's the asshole. Your friend is an asshole. A giant one. How dare someone.
Monica (:Wow. No.
Kelsie (:Right? Your dad, it's like...
Monica (:Mm -hmm.
Nicole (:If it was like your fucking twice removed third uncle Jerry, I don't know, then it would be a different story. Okay, but this is her father.
Monica (:I think what's frustrating about that, like as I listen to it, is like there's space for both of them to have their emotions about it. Like it's totally okay for the bride to be upset and to feel disappointed, but there still has to be like that space that just because it's your wedding and you're really excited about it and like it's your big day doesn't mean that everybody else's life like isn't happening, you know?
Kelsie (:Yeah, it's not her fault her dad had a stroke. And that's, that's like a monumental.
Nicole (:right.
Kelsie (:emergency to have occur like yeah she she would gladly rather be at your wedding than be taking care of her mother and her father who almost died.
Nicole (:Duh. Right.
Monica (:I don't blame the girl for not having the capacity either because I don't think that I would be able to respond in a kind way. There's a very big difference from their experiences where one is really exciting and the other is grieving. That's not a choice. That's not something that anybody is like, you know what I want to do this month? I want to grieve. That would be great. No one does it by choice.
Nicole (:That is so sad.
Ashley (:Well, so.
Nicole (:I wouldn't.
Mm
Kelsie (:I don't think the girl who who is experiencing the family emergency I don't think she if she steps away from this friendship I don't think she'll ever look back on it and be like wow I wish I hadn't burned that bridge but I do think that the bride will look back at some day and think you know I fucked up yeah I was the asshole
Ashley (:Yeah.
Monica (:Yeah.
Nicole (:I agree. Yeah.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Nicole (:I fucked up.
Monica (:Mm -hmm.
Ashley (:Yeah.
Nicole (:Also the audacity to be like I'm uninviting you from the wedding, but are you still gonna come to the after party? No No, I'm not gonna go to your after party which is weird anyway, but no
Ashley (:I know that's weird. There was like so much going on I feel.
Kelsie (:Mm -hmm.
Well, even just a small acknowledgement of like, hey, I'm really sorry that happened. That's probably so scary. Do you think that you'll be able to attend the after party or, you know, or is that off the table too?
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Nicole (:Right. There was a way there was a way she could have went about it. That wasn't it.
Monica (:Well, I think if she would have responded with support and understanding in the first place, then there would have been room for like that follow up question of like, do you will do things like this is going to happen because it would be really fun to celebrate with you. But like, there's no there's no like, you can't be mad about it. And then in the same breath, be like, but like, are you going to come to the party still?
Nicole (:Mm -hmm.
Mm
Kelsie (:I think there was a nice way to uninvite her. Like, because I do understand, like, if you're just like, kind of holding open a spot as a bridesmaid, like, that's, I would do that and I wouldn't care. But some things are more, some people are more like, structured than that. And that would eat them alive. And that's fine. I just think she could have been actually nice about it. It doesn't sound like she tried to share any compassion at all.
Monica (:Mm -hmm.
Yeah.
Ashley (:Need it planned. Yeah.
Yeah.
Monica (:Mm -hmm.
Ashley (:Mm -mm.
Monica (:Well, it could have even been done in a very compassionate way of like, I'm giving you permission to not worry about this and I'm okay, don't worry about me. Like go do what you need to do. And if you can make it to the after party, great, I'll see you there. But instead it was like the guilt trip and I'm angry at you for not being able to do this. Yeah. It is very brightzilla.
Nicole (:You ruined my day. was just gonna say Ashley. I wonder how the rest of her bridal like planning went because she sounds like a bright so
Ashley (:Yeah, it's very bridezilla.
Yeah.
Monica (:weddings are just, there's so much that can be involved in it. It's so tough. But yeah, I definitely don't think that this girl is the asshole by any means. Yeah, not the asshole. But okay, Nicole.
Nicole (:You
Ashley (:Not the asshole.
Nicole (:Mm -mm.
Hmm?
Monica (:So you had something happen for you over the summer that we all have been kind of the observer just watching it go down. It has been entertaining and comical and also a lot of like what the fuck moments. So yes. So you had you had a very hilarious reel go viral that originated in the group chat.
Nicole (:Has it?
Ashley (:Ha ha ha.
Nicole (:It has been a roller coaster nonetheless.
Yeah
Monica (:I remember us talking about it and we're like, wouldn't this be so funny? Like, this is so relatable. This is so funny. And I know that we kind of thought that it would be like, you know, it'd be funny. Did you think it was going to get over 6 million views on Instagram? 7 .1 now?
Nicole (:Yes.
You
silly, goofy, nothing.
Kelsie (:7 .1, I checked. 7 .1 million views.
Ashley (:Holy shit, I didn't know it was that high.
Nicole (:Wait, I just pulled it up. have it on my phone. 7 .3 million views. 40, hold please, 46, let me give you the stats, okay? No. 46 ,000 likes. my God, 1 .4 thousand comments, guys. Over a thousand comments. Over 2 ,000 people sent this to somebody.
Monica (:my goodness. for... I'm still crowing.
Kelsie (:that means it's still growing.
Ashley (:Damn, it's still going.
Wow.
Monica (:my gosh, it's so insane.
Nicole (:Which makes me want to vomit and over 2 ,000 people saved it which also makes me want to vomit Why can't we not do that? It's you know, it's so funny The perspective is weird because like I sent reels to you guys all day long and I send reels to like my best friend and that's like how I communicate with people and so to think that other people are sending my reels to people to communicate or to make fun of me I don't care. I got sent to the group chat. Are you kidding me like or the husband's maybe
Monica (:my goodness.
Yeah.
Ashley (:Mm
Monica (:Yeah.
Kelsie (:You got sent to the group chat.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Kelsie (:or the husbands. Explain the real. nobody knows, people don't know what we're talking about. So explain what the real was.
Ashley (:Definitely. Yep.
Monica (:my goodness. So yes, so, yeah.
Nicole (:So the real was about everything showers. Okay, so like being married and realizing that like, I don't have to take an everything shower if I don't want to take an everything shower because my husband doesn't care if my legs are shaved. That is the whole premise of it. And I came to the group chat and said that is this relatable? Like do other people think that like to other married people think
now that I'm married, I don't have to do this if I don't feel like I can push it one more day or whatever, blah, blah. And, you know, we, because we're normal, we're like, yes, this is funny. This is relatable. But the internet is not normal. And it's a very scary place sometimes. the Instagram algorithm played me. It did me so dirty.
Ashley (:You
Monica (:Well, it's not just that, it's Instagram did you dirty, for sure.
Ashley (:Yeah.
Kelsie (:They sent you to the men for sure.
Nicole (:It sent me, but not to the men that understand, it sent me to single men who probably live in their mother's basements. And I don't care. That's my opinion of you. If you commented mean on my reel, that's my opinion of you. Because I got a lot of mean comments.
Ashley (:Yeah.
Monica (:so many mean comments. And it's hilarious to me because I had a comment on there that has like hundreds of likes. And so I know that you're real is still going because I continue to get notifications about my comment. And all of the yeah, and all of the men who are so upset that I said that clearly they're not educated on what the everything showers because clearly they're not totally okay. But they are not happy that I just stated the point.
Nicole (:notifications yeah I just got one before we got came on here
triggered.
triggered.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Monica (:that they're not educated on what the everything shower is.
Nicole (:gosh, there, yeah, yeah, yeah. So first you mentioned something that, please, go read the comments, go to my.
Kelsie (:Yeah, if you go read the comments.
The men truly do not know, and if you don't know what an everything shower is, which you probably maybe just don't call it that, is that, you know, you take a shower, you wash the important parts, but you don't shave, you don't always wash your hair every single time you get in the shower, you don't shave your armpits, you don't, you know, exfoliate.
Nicole (:But you get it. It's the shower that takes 17 years.
Monica (:Mm -hmm.
Yeah, basic hygiene is still happening. It's just not the like, I'm gonna get all like prim and proper because we're going out and we need to like meet somebody like we don't care anymore. We have a safe secure home and husband and like we don't need to to do the whole thing. And I think yeah, it's not that we don't.
Ashley (:Yeah.
Nicole (:We're not shaving buttholes on the regular, okay?
Ashley (:you
Nicole (:all the time. And like, that's not to say that I'm not doing it at all. But if I was doing it maybe once a week at some point in my life, now maybe I'm doing it once every week and a half or like once every two weeks if I'm really not fucking digging it, you know? But it's like, I don't need to, I don't need to shave my legs every day. I really don't.
Monica (:Right. Well, I.
i think a lot of them in in the comment section made really big assumptions that that means that it's like you're letting yourself go and you're not taking care of yourself and like trying to look good for your spouse which is not the case it's actually very much the opposite is that like when you're in a healthy relationship you don't feel like you have to do that to be cared for and like they miss that entire piece
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Nicole (:My favorite.
Right.
Mm -hmm.
Kelsie (:Well, and a lot of them just straight up assume that you aren't showering at all. They're like, wash your ass, Nicole!
Nicole (:my favorite ones. Right? Yeah, no. Yeah, yeah. All of them. And so many of them. Ew, wash your ass. Ew. You don't wash your ass, bro. That's not what everything's are or we're skipping parts of our body. No, bro. We're not skipping parts of our body. You guys are because I can't be the only one that remembers the viral frickin videos of men being like, you wash your legs. Yeah, fool. We wash our leg like, you know,
Ashley (:These men have been hurt. Yeah.
Monica (:Right? Like, what?
Ashley (:Just leaping.
Monica (:Yes. Yes.
Ashley (:you
Nicole (:And how like washing their butt makes them gay. Like yeah, okay, come on now, seriously. What are you doing with that bar soap if that is gonna make you gay? But yes, Kelsey doesn't believe us. Yes, that was a thing, Kelsey. Okay, good. Good.
Monica (:Yes. Yes. Yes. I remember that trend on TikTok.
Kelsie (:I missed that trend apparently.
Monica (:Yeah, there was a trend, there was a trend on TikTok where like the men were floored that you're supposed to like wash your butt. Like they're like the water just like washing down you is fine, right? But we're the gross ones here.
Ashley (:Me too, I missed it.
Nicole (:Yeah, like wash like in between your cheeks. It cleans enough, no. Yeah, but I'm the gross one because I don't shave my legs all the time. But my favorite ones were the ones that are like...
Ashley (:What?
Nicole (:And that's why he's gonna cheat on you. Excuse me You know nothing about my relationship. so many it was like every other comment at one point it's like You don't know my relationship first of all and the balls you must have to tell a stranger that their spouse is gonna cheat on them first of all You would never say that to my face. And if you try I would punch you Right if you're so insecure in yourself that that would make you cheat on somebody you could admit that it's fine, but
Kelsie (:Mm -hmm, and there was a lot like that wasn't just one
Monica (:Mm -mm. Mm -hmm.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Kelsie (:If you would cheat on a woman, just say that, bro.
Monica (:Right?
Ashley (:Yeah.
Kelsie (:We can go ahead and go through that comment section and let you know who to never date because they think cheating is fine if you're let yourself go.
Nicole (:brah, if you're looking for if you're in the dating world, if you're in the dating go to my real my handle is at Nic Luchetti. It's just my name. Go it's probably tagged in the show notes. Go there. Look through the comments of all those men and block them and stay far away from them and put them on the do not date list.
Ashley (:Yeah. Yeah. Find the red flags there.
Monica (:I almost wish.
Kelsie (:Never date them.
Monica (:Yeah, I wish actually, yeah, I wish that like all the dating apps somehow had some kind of like algorithm like point system. Every time someone like commented crap like this, it's like a ding on their profile of like red flag, red flag.
Ashley (:you
Nicole (:Right. Red flag. The guy with the guy that's on that makes Instagram reels and TikToks with the giant red flag and just like runs around. I love that guy. I don't know if you guys seen him, but he's the best. gosh. It was a very weird experience. He really would. He really would. We should as long as he doesn't say that I'm a red flag. No, I'm just kidding. Joking.
Ashley (:Literally.
Monica (:Yes. Yes. Right?
Kelsie (:he would have a heyday with your comment section. We should invite him in there.
I don't think so.
Ashley (:I don't think he would say that.
Kelsie (:I saw a guy comment, I was reading through today before we discussed this, and he said, she comments on, she replies to every single comment, send help, and I'm like, bro, you're on here being an asshole. You're the one with mental health problems, like, troll.
Nicole (:That's it's my I did respond to him because yeah. yeah and that's like I did come reply to him because I was like it's my page it's my content if I want to respond to my comment section I'm gonna. That's the whole point of social media.
Monica (:Yeah.
Well, and also like it's, yeah, it's the point. It's like the other comment that was like, she just posted this for attention. Yeah, we post to Reels for people to watch and like and have attention, yes.
Ashley (:Hahaha
Nicole (:yes. I literally agreed with him. I said yes.
Kelsie (:Those comments fuck me up every time because it's like, hi, are you new here? Duh.
Nicole (:Duh, yeah, duh Welcome to Instagram some lady recently. Yeah the other day yesterday I think just commented and she went on to say how I was embarrassing and how if you can't make content just don't and was
Ashley (:It's like their first time on Instagram. Yeah.
Monica (:Welcome to social media. We all want attention.
Nicole (:Like just really rude and I was like what's embarrassing is leaving rude comments on people's profile that like like videos that you don't agree with that's okay I don't care if you don't like it if you don't like it. That's fine. You don't have to be rude I did and I responded I did she was like you can't take feedback. Yeah, no. Yeah. She she was like you can't take feedback Excuse me. I went to your profile ma 'am That wasn't feedback I didn't ask you to be a critic yeah
Kelsie (:I read that. But did you read her thing back? She was like, she was like, I wasn't rude. Yeah.
She's like, actors get feedback all the time and it's like, bitch, no one chose you to be the fucking critic of Instagram.
Monica (:Well, that one's funny too, because it wasn't like you were doing like a skit. You were literally dancing in your house.
Nicole (:sorry.
No, it was just...
And she was like, you don't have to put every thought. Yeah. Yes.
Kelsie (:She said her exact words were like, this is a pointless thought that nobody needed to hear. And it's like, mean, 2000 people sent it to somebody else. So obviously somebody enjoyed hearing it.
Ashley (:Yes, seven million people have seen it.
Nicole (:Lit okay, that's actually what I replied. I was like It's not that I can't take feedback. I was like, I'm on social media to find the people that do agree with me and that are my people and I don't know if you've noticed but it has a really lot of likes and so I think I found them but that's okay and then I had gone to her profile and I looked and of course she was like Trying to be like Jesus. are you?
are you? I don't think Jesus would be in my comment section telling me that I'm embarrassing.
Kelsie (:As Morgan Wallen said, I don't think Jesus done it that way.
Nicole (:I don't exactly thank you. I'm like so I literally was like maybe you should go reread your bio and Live a little bit more closely to what it says because you need to get out of my comment section like come on now It's always the people that have Bible verses. Yeah
Ashley (:You
Monica (:a great impersonation.
Ashley (:wish people's mean comments could be like broadcasted Like, how are you running around on Instagram reels and saying all this like mean shit to people? Like, that's embarrassing.
Nicole (:Yeah, and I went to her I went to her profile because I'm nosy and if you're gonna leave a mean comment on my shit I'm gonna go look at your shit and it's like she's trying to do like the homemaker like Content and that's great. And she's like, I'm a mom of so many. Okay, Stay in your lane Stay in your lane. My content's not for you. That's fine. Go make content for the people you want To be on your page go stay in your lane get off of mine. This is my lane
Monica (:Mm
Mm -hmm.
Ashley (:Yeah.
Nicole (:my page, my corner of the internet going. That's how I feel about that. That's how I feel about everybody on that reel.
Monica (:That's crazy.
Nicole (:But all this to say...
Kelsie (:I liked the comment that was like, and by like, I mean, it bothered the shit out of me. It really chapped my ass.
Monica (:Yeah, let's clear by that.
Nicole (:chaps asses are chapped
Kelsie (:so you're trying to get cheated on by a woman that cleans herself daily. Got it. Hashtag everything don't belong online. Hashtag you don't belong online, sir. Goodbye.
Nicole (:Sir, excuse me, sir. Yeah, yeah, those were a lot of the ones. the other ones that really got me were, so you did it for everyone before him. Like.
Ashley (:No, this is the one. Yeah, this is the one that I hated. This guy said, wow, so your husband gets worse treatment than the guys that hit it and quit it. What? In what?
Monica (:Yeah.
Nicole (:right, which I thought was funny because I was like, I was like, I've literally been with my husband since I was 18 years old. Nobody hit it and quit it. Nobody there was nobody that hit it and quit it. Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Mom. There was nobody that hit it and quit it. Before I was like, what a wild assumption to just, you know, think that every
Ashley (:He's just leaping to conclusions.
Just so many, so many assumptions. And by the way, this guy's profile picture looks like Dwight Schrute. So I'm not here to talk shit about him, but I'm just saying like.
Nicole (:We're bothered. We're bothered. We're bothered.
Ashley (:Wow.
Kelsie (:There was one guy that he I really he was redeeming because he kind of came on hard at the beginning But then he was like you're like ask your wife and he's like I will ask my wife and then he came back later And he did ask his wife and she was like she didn't call it an everything shower, but she did agree Yes, she's like, yeah, and he kind of retracted. Yeah
Nicole (:She knew, she understood and she was like, yeah, that's normal. And I was like, thank you. See, like.
Monica (:Yes. Yeah.
Kelsie (:And then he said, and then later down, I think it was the same guy, he commented and he was like, you're not getting enough credit for your mad dance moves or something like
Monica (:Nobody commented on the dance moves.
Kelsie (:I thought they were great.
Nicole (:One person did, he was like, you're not so bad, kid. And I was like, I think.
Ashley (:Wait.
Monica (:I do like this comment though from, I think it's a man who got it, who got it, right? But this was a good one, this was a positive one. So he said, so you get the regular exterior car wash for the day to day, but get the supreme wash with the wax, shine and armor all for tires every now and then. Detail work for date nights and special occasions. Makes sense to me. Exactly, like that's all.
Nicole (:Most of them are.
dude, he, he mansplained it and I was like, thank you. And then another guy commented and was like, thank you for putting it in terms that I understood. And it's like,
Ashley (:He put it in man terms. He translated.
Monica (:So.
Ashley (:hahahaha
Monica (:So the next time Nicole, apparently you just need to redo it but put it in their language even though this wasn't made for them.
Nicole (:need yes mess that was a mess but
Ashley (:Yeah. Yeah.
Monica (:Well, that actually is kind of an interesting thing about social media too, is that people assume that just because it comes across their page that the content was made for them. And so then they get butthurt about it. And it's like, you are not the target audience for this. If you don't like it, move on. It's not for you.
Nicole (:Yeah, when it's not.
Ashley (:That's a foreign concept.
Nicole (:It's not. and
Monica (:Yeah.
Nicole (:If
Kelsie (:I have a question though on the subject of the everything shower. How often do you ladies wash your hair?
Nicole (:Yeah. Yeah.
Ashley (:Maybe twice a week, maybe. Only because my hair looks really bad when it's not clean. Like I'd do it less actually, if I could get away with it, but I can't really. Like people who are like, I'm on day six and their hair's still cute, that's not me. Otherwise I would push it longer for sure. Cause I don't give a fuck.
Monica (:Yeah. Yeah.
Mm -hmm.
Yeah, I can't make it that long.
Kelsie (:I'm probably a every seven day kind of gal.
Monica (:Yeah, if I could, I would. My hair just can't really last that long. But like, I mean, I shower probably most days because I work out most days. And so I shower, but my hair is not washed every single day. It's like maybe two times a week, like three if like I'm going out and I need fresh hair. But yeah.
Nicole (:It depends.
Mm
Yeah.
Mm -hmm same it really depends like I've curly hair like really really curly hair. So it really depends on How cute my curls look? From day to day because sometimes I'm like, these are shit I got to start over and I'll just wash it and that's not a big deal.
Monica (:Yeah.
is funny to me though, because it would have been very different in high school, college and stuff. Kind of going along with the everything shower kind of stuff. I was definitely far more concerned about that then and didn't leave the house without makeup. My hair had to look perfect. And now I'm like, whatever.
Nicole (:see, no, I wasn't then either.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Nicole (:Nah, I did the same thing then that I do now as I washed my body all the time But never washed my hair because my hair again really curly
Kelsie (:Hey, you stink.
Nicole (:And so like, was, I never washed my hair, I only washed my body.
Monica (:I relate to that. can understand that.
Kelsie (:I gotta be honest, I do not shave my legs as often as probably, I think that the men on your comment posts would eat me alive if they saw me out in public sometimes, because I just don't care.
Ashley (:No, that's normal. Those men aren't familiar with women. That's the problem. Winter? Especially winter? Forget it. Forget it. Come on.
Nicole (:Yeah, those men are gremlins.
Monica (:Mm -hmm.
Kelsie (:I go out with some fuzzy legs more than I should.
Nicole (:Honey, I am almost full -blooded Italian. My hair is dark and coarse, and I actively participate in No Shave November every month. So.
Monica (:Every month.
Nicole (:Kelsey, because you look really fair. Can you even see your hair? you can. You have darker hair than you... cute. Cute.
Kelsie (:I have a happy trail guys. have a full on black fucking happy trail on my stomach. Listen, here we go. Kelsey's gonna over share again. I had like a peach fuzz, nice little peach fuzz trail probably in high school, but I was a lifeguard and it really bothered me and I'm like, my gosh, I have a happy trail. So I shaved it, which was a mistake because it came back black.
Ashley (:Nicole said, cute.
Nicole (:Thank you.
Kelsie (:And it is never, so from belly button all the way down, if I don't shave, I have a black freaking happy trail.
Nicole (:That is weird.
Monica (:Kelsey, this is really funny actually because I too was a lifeguard in high school and had pretty much an identical scenario. But until just now, I don't think I realized that mine is gone after having kids. That actually disappeared.
Kelsie (:flipping her off if you can't if you're not watching because mine didn't go away
Nicole (:Kelsey just got very bothered. This is bothering Kelsey. She's very bothered.
Monica (:I totally...
Kelsie (:I'm a little bit bothered that hers went away and mine didn't because
Monica (:I mean, I was very bothered by mine growing up, so I getcha, but I think I have amnesia. I forgot that that was a thing.
Nicole (:Yamija.
Ashley (:She blocked it out.
Nicole (:One more thing about hair. I had when I was younger
Knuckle hair. Okay, and I You couldn't fucking see it. You couldn't see it But I was still Lulu enough to think that everybody could see it and I would shave my knuckles and my mom one day was like you need to stop or you're gonna be You're gonna look like a monkey and have like hairy paws and I was like Excuse me and she scared me and she was like you're gonna get older and it's gonna be dark and you're gonna wish you never ever shaved your knuckle hair and then I was like
Ashley (:Knuckle hair.
Nicole (:traumatized and I was like okay that's it I'm not shaving it anymore and now that I'm looking at them you can't even see the hair on my knuckles why did I why was I worried about it what was I worried about it for do you have knuckle hair do you have no hair wait see that's alopecia
Monica (:Okay, I'm having a weird moment actually with all these stories. I used to!
Kelsie (:Where did all your hair go? What the heck?
Monica (:That's what I'm having with this weird moment. It's like I've struggled with like my hair loss postpartum after my first and like three babies later. Like I've just had trouble until recently. Like it finally feels like it's getting a little bit better. But now I'm like wondering, I'm like.
Ashley (:you
Maybe, no, your knuckle hair and your happy trail are gonna come back.
Nicole (:Stop.
let's not curse her with that. Stop it. Don't say that. You don't.
Monica (:I better freaking not, but I'm like having a moment of like, it wasn't just on top of my head.
Nicole (:May, yeah, maybe you, yeah, interesting. Maybe you had some little version of like alopecia, but like you didn't notice it really, because it was, your hair was falling out in places you didn't notice.
Monica (:But like.
Kelsie (:My eyebrows got a lot thinner.
Monica (:I mean, so my hairdresser told me like technically that's what it is, like considered is alopecia, right? So like, yes, because I've had, I have like the issues with it, like my scalp hair, but like you're talking and I'm looking at my fingers and my, those used to be fuzzier. I mean, I think I still have the toe hair.
Nicole (:Yeah, it's alopecia.
Check your toes, check your toes.
I still definitely have toe hair and I still definitely shave my toe hair but you know everyone simply loves me. Yep for sure.
Ashley (:I was gonna say my toe knuckles are hairy and I'm looking at my foot now and I really need a pedicure.
Monica (:Yeah, mate.
Ashley (:Alright, well we'd love to hear your guys' thoughts on the Everything Shower and let us know how often you do the Everything Shower, just for science, of course. Send us a DM on any of our platforms at A Little Bit Bothered and now we're gonna get into what's got us a little bit bothered this week.
Monica (:to science.
Ashley (:don't even know how to go into my, what I'm bothered about, but I am a little bit bothered because I, okay, when I told one of my friends that we were gonna be recording a podcast, one of my friends outside of here, she was like, I've thought about that, but I would be scared to have my thoughts like recorded and posted, you know, permanently. And I was like, yeah, you know, I just didn't really like think anything of it. And then we started recording and I realized how easy it is to just kind of like accidentally say something.
And I feel like this is gonna follow us forever. know, like we're always gonna...
Nicole (:Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Monica (:Or it's not even just that though too. Sometimes it's like the editing, you know, cause not everything can make the cut. And so that's a hard part too.
Ashley (:Yeah. Yeah.
okay, so I'm a little bit bothered because, well, I don't even know if I'm bothered, but I did get called out by one of my best friends for saying in the first episode that I don't have any other friends when I might.
Nicole (:Hahaha!
Monica (:Well, and let's clarify too, like you're not bothered by her. It's the learning process of this.
Ashley (:No, I'm bothered by... yeah. I'm bothered by the way I sound talking about it. Anyways, I'm shouting out my friend Dakota because I love her, Mwah!
Nicole (:You're bothered by your own damn self.
Kelsie (:She has friends other than work friends, okay? She loves you, Dakota.
Ashley (:Yeah, not a lot though. Okay, not a lot though. Yeah, we're all friends now.
Nicole (:Okay, she didn't mean it like that. She loves you! We love you too! We're friends with you too, Dakota!
Monica (:No.
Yes. Yes.
Kelsie (:Welcome to the group chat. Welcome to the inner sanctum, Dakota.
Ashley (:Woo! The inner sanctum. Honorary. Okay, what are you guys bothered by this week? What's chapping your ass, as Kelsey would say?
Nicole (:Hahaha
Monica (:You are now a member.
Nicole (:it with the sanctum. Okay.
Kelsie (:You know what really chaps my ass?
Ashley (:another accent from Kelsey. Wow. Two in one episode. Please tell us.
Kelsie (:I don't actually know. I'm not bothered this week. In general though, know what chops my ass is when makeup influencers use filters.
Nicole (:what?
Get bothered bitch, get bothered. No.
Ashley (:Fuck that shit. It's bullshit.
Monica (:UGH
Nicole (:Ugh. I hate it.
Kelsie (:Like if you're trying to actively influence and, you know, promote a makeup and you have a filter on, you've lost me.
Monica (:Mm
Nicole (:You've lost me.
Monica (:Yes.
Ashley (:Honestly, filters in general kind of bother me. I was thinking about that when we were talking about social media earlier, just like the fakeness and the... Like how... I just... There's so much. We could go into it for so long, I feel like. But... Yeah.
Nicole (:same.
Monica (:Mm -hmm.
Nicole (:Literally.
Kelsie (:Yeah, and I try not to get like to because I get it like sometimes you're looking like the gum on the bottom of the shoe and you're like, just let me put this on to feel a little bit better. Like, it's fine. I'm not coming at you for that. I get it. I personally choose to not use filters because I think about how many times I've looked at somebody online and been like, I wish I had skin like that. And then it's like, as we've progressed and like now you have they tell you if they have a filter on which they didn't use to, you know, now it's like, they don't
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
same.
Kelsie (:have flawless skin. I'm comparing myself to something that's not real and I worry about our younger generation so I just for the sake of the fact that any younger person might see my content I try to never have a filter on so that they can see real skin.
Monica (:Yeah.
Ashley (:Yeah
Yeah, real people. Yeah.
Monica (:Mm hmm. Yeah.
Nicole (:Literally so important and I have textured af skin because I had a lot of years with super annoying acne and It really makes me mad when it when I see people with filters on that are trying to claim that they have Like felt like skin
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Nicole (:that is as a baby's butt and I'm like, no, that ain't me.
Monica (:Mm
Nicole (:Somebody out there is going to be like, she has skin like mine. And that is just going to make them feel better. Like me showing them that it's not a big deal. So I actively choose to think about that whenever I do like my makeup on online.
Monica (:I would love hate for them because sometimes I will use them just because I feel like it right but Right, they can be fun I try not to you though for the same reasons of what you're saying Kelsey because it is such a huge issue and it creates like this distortion of What's normal? So I really do try not to but it's when you're seeing content specifically for like how to do your makeup or how to do this or whatever or they're talking about something and you're like
Kelsie (:They're fun. I get it. Yeah.
Nicole (:They're fun, yeah.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Kelsie (:Yes.
Monica (:But that's not real. That's not what your skin actually is. That's not what it like the outcome actually is.
Nicole (:Mm -hmm.
Kelsie (:Yeah, I have watched someone do their makeup with a filter on and it was a good filter I'll give them that but you could see if you watched you could see the filter kind of move and shift as they were like putting their makeup on. What is the point? What is the point?
Ashley (:or yeah.
Monica (:Ahem.
Yeah.
Nicole (:Ugh. Yeah.
Ashley (:Okay, and wait, there's a there's and they're selling it right like they're they're profiting off of the product that they are faking that like how it looks that's a line. Yeah.
Kelsie (:Yes!
Monica (:Yes, yes.
Yeah, that's where it's now unethical in my mind where like you're just you're straight up lying like you're you're
Nicole (:Yeah, a disclaimer.
Kelsie (:Yeah.
And it's frustrating because it's almost always someone from what I've seen who's very successful at it too.
Monica (:Yes.
Ashley (:because they're bullshitting.
Nicole (:Right. Disclaimer though, we're not dogging on people that sell makeup online because we've all been there. We literally, literally that's how we met.
Kelsie (:No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Monica (:No, it's...
like, would way rather see your natural, beautiful skin and like the realness of it and go, okay, so that product looks that good on real skin, I'm sold. But it just breaks trust and it's just overall very frustrating. Because then it makes me question everything you post. Like if you're gonna try to share a product that you supposedly are obsessed with, whether it's makeup or like anything on your face really.
Kelsie (:It's yes.
Ashley (:Yeah.
Yeah.
Nicole (:Mm -hmm.
Monica (:And then it's not really you. Yeah.
Nicole (:Whether it's anything at all because when it comes down to it authenticity is what really matters Like authenticity, that's why I get so mad when people talk about like cringe. it's so cringe. Well, okay Is it are they being authentic? Yeah, they're being authentic.
Monica (:Yeah.
Kelsie (:I think that's, I think that also goes back to, yeah, that's something, that's another layer of it that bothers me is that like, I bust my butt trying to show up online as me every day, the good, the bad, the ugly, the cringy, and it's like, you're just, you're just out there succeeding. So when you have like, if you have like 100 ,000 followers and I feel like I don't.
Monica (:Mm -hmm.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Kelsie (:know anything real about you or see anything real about you that's frustrating.
Ashley (:Yeah,
Monica (:Mm -hmm. Mm
Nicole (:literally.
Monica (:All right. Well, I have one that bothers me. you guys know me that this is something that's very important to me, but we got a comment from one of our listeners about something that also bothers them. And they said, people telling me it'd be better if I were at home with my kids rather than having a career. And
Ugh, like same, same. That bothers me so, so much because there are so many different categories that we can fall into as moms and none of them are better than the other. And I have heard that same comment so many freaking times and it drives me crazy. Like I am the type of person, like I have always known that I would have a career.
Ashley (:Mmm.
Nicole (:Hmm.
Monica (:I've always known that. I've always known that I wanted to have a career as well as being a mom. And there was no one that could change my mind about that. I just knew I was not made to be, I don't wanna say just, because it's not just. I knew I was not made to be a state of mom. I'm just not. And that's totally okay. Yeah, but.
Nicole (:And that's totally fine.
Monica (:I have had that comment more times than I can count of like, don't you just wish, which actually now I have like created a circumstance where I do actually kind of get to do that and work from home. But I just think.
Nicole (:Yeah, I was gonna say you literally have the best of both worlds actually because you do get to do both. A lot of people don't though.
Monica (:I do, but like I have so very intentionally created it that way because I've done the working out of the home and like managing big programs and doing all that. And that was great. I love that. But I do. I love being my own boss more and working from home and having that flexibility. But regardless, I just think that it like that kind of mentality.
Nicole (:Mm -hmm.
That's what it comes down to, really.
Monica (:takes away from who we are as women and that there's so much more to our roles than being moms. It's a wonderful, beautiful thing, but it's so complex and multi -layered and not one is better than the other. It's such a judgment.
Nicole (:Agree.
Kelsie (:Well, and I can't imagine just to paint a picture. I know she wouldn't mind me saying this. I know the girl who submitted that comment and to have the people who would have had the audacity to say this to her. first of all is a fabulous mother, but she has is a military spouse. She has given so many years of her life to taking care of her kids and taking care of the home. And she is now I mean, she's always had other, you know,
Monica (:Yeah.
Kelsie (:careers and things going on, but she is like really in a career that is, I mean, she was put in it quickly and she's doing so well at it. And excuse me, like, how could you look at her? If the people to say this, how could you look at her and all she's done for her family over the years as a military spouse and have the audacity to say that she's choosing her career over her family? Like get out of here. She's a wonderful mother.
Nicole (:Wait, so, okay.
Monica (:Mm -hmm.
Well, and that's the judgment of it, is that you're choosing your career over your kids and you're not. There are pros and cons to every single scenario that you choose to take as a parent. no, no.
Kelsie (:But has anybody ever said that to a father? You're choosing your career. You're choosing the military. I mean, the military for freaking, I'm a military spouse, she's a military spouse. They definitely have no choice sometimes but to put the military first. It's just the way it is. And you'll hear hardcore military people say that. Military comes first, family comes second. And that's just, unfortunately, the way it really is sometimes, but no one would ever say that to a man.
Monica (:Yeah.
Mm -hmm.
Yeah.
Right. Ever.
Nicole (:Well,
Ashley, this is your situation too. You're a working mom and you are actually like the sole worker, right? Your husband stays home with the kids.
Ashley (:Yeah, I am more than a little bit bothered that someone would have the audacity to say that to someone. Yeah, as...
Monica (:Yeah.
Nicole (:By this comment. Yeah Yeah, yeah As I was gonna say this is your this is like right up your alley. I'm sure you've gotten I'm eerie out of things. Have you actually?
Ashley (:You know what I've had? I definitely, I get more support, I think, than anything. And I think it's just like being confident in it too. You know, like we know this is what works best for us. We chose this for a reason. But I mean, I still know there's people with that opinion out there or I have gotten questions like, why am I not the one that's staying home and things like that? And I feel like Monica, like I am meant for a career like.
Nicole (:That's good.
Monica (:Mm -hmm.
Nicole (:Mm -hmm.
Monica (:Yeah.
Ashley (:If we had the money and we both stayed home, you know what, that would be great, but I think I might go a little crazy if I stayed home and didn't have something outside the house. I think I would maybe lose it.
Monica (:Mm -hmm.
Yeah, I absolutely would too. And I know that part of that is just personality type. Like I am through and through like any of gram three, like I need to be very goal oriented and have things that I'm working on. And so if I were to stay at home, mom, I know that I would end up finding some way to like fill them and like running the PTO or like doing everything, starting a podcast. So, right.
Ashley (:Yeah.
Kelsie (:Like starting a podcast.
Nicole (:Like starting a podcast, like social media, like me and Kazee. Yeah.
Ashley (:Yeah.
Monica (:right, throwing another plate up in the air. But like, I just wouldn't be able to not fill my time with like more stuff. Like that's just part of who I am. And I think the other part too is that there's so many moms too that have a full on career who would rather be at home, but they don't have that option because of finances and just the way that the world is right now. It's just so freaking expensive to exist. And so I think comments like this also.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Nicole (:sure.
Yeah.
Monica (:take them down and make them feel worse because they don't have that option and it's just not supportive in any direction.
Kelsie (:I think it's also important to point out also that a lot of moms would gladly work and our stay at home by not by choice, but because daycare is so expensive. it's like, it's a double edged sword. It's not like, we're just, mean, you know, you're not necessarily working because you know, you enjoy it. You said you just do, but like some are working because they have to, some aren't working because they literally can't afford daycare. So it's just, everyone just needs to keep their mouth shut and stop assuming.
Monica (:Yes, that too.
Ashley (:Yep.
Monica (:Yeah.
Ashley (:Yeah, it puts everybody into a box.
Monica (:we have to stop looking at it as like one route is better than the other or like the grass is greener over there because it's literally not
Ashley (:Yeah.
Nicole (:Yeah, and can we just take away the sentiment of like, it makes you a bad mom if you don't stay home with your kids? Because excuse me, like, that's what it comes down to that comment. You know, it's very depth, it's core, it's them judging you on how good or not of a mom you are, because you're not making the time to stay with your children at home. Get out of here.
Monica (:Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Well...
Yes.
Ashley (:Yeah, let's add to the mom guilt, because we all don't have enough of that. Come on.
Nicole (:Let's moms whether we're working or whether we're staying home with our babies, whatever it is When it comes down to it everything we do is for our kids whether you an outsider want to recognize it or not is not up to us and You need to I'm gonna say it again. Stay in your own lane because especially if you're not a parent I don't care what you have to say. I don't Yeah, neither did mine
Monica (:Absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I.
Kelsie (:My husband didn't know mom guilt was real. He thought that I made that up. And then somebody, one of his other friend's wife said something about mom guilt one day and he was like, wait, that's like you all like mom guilt is a thing. Like you all have mom guilt. He thought I was just be like what?
Ashley (:God.
Nicole (:Yeah.
Monica (:You all have it?
Nicole (:you
Ashley (:God, listen, men, if there's any men here, it's debilitating. It's crushing.
Monica (:That's so funny.
Nicole (:Yeah.
It's It's bad.
Kelsie (:is.
Monica (:It's so hard because we just want to be the best mom that we can and there's no clear right answer in almost anything of motherhood. Yeah, it's so hard.
Nicole (:about everything yeah we're worried about we're worrying about everything we're about we're worrying about the kids but we're also worrying about our spouse like are they okay too so it's not just like mom guilt it's like just trying to be the matriarch yeah just trying to be the matriarch of the family like it
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Monica (:Yes.
Ashley (:The female urge to fix it all. Yeah.
Kelsie (:It just gets probably amplified to a thousand when you become a mom.
Nicole (:It does, for sure. You feel it a lot more too when you become a mom. And you feel everything a lot more when you become a mom.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Monica (:Mm -hmm. Well, another thing. for sure. Another thing that was like so interesting to me, I'm sure Ashley, you probably experienced this too, is for us, like our situation was not like your traditional. My husband stayed home with our kids when they were infants. He worked from home. We had a very fortunate setup where we could do that, but he stayed home with them and worked, but literally infants on. And the amount of times I got comments where it was just like,
Ashley (:Yeah.
Monica (:He can do that? How does he handle that? Like, is he okay? Doesn't he go crazy doing that? Like, so many questions of like, him being incapable of being a stay at home dad or like, like, yeah, it was really, really challenging at times for him to work and do all that. But it was just this like assumption that he's the dad. Like, he can't possibly like be at home with the infants by himself like five days a week. And it was so infuriating.
Ashley (:God.
Monica (:And so disrespectful too, because the dads are capable. They're so capable. It's so insulting.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
It's like insulting to everybody.
Nicole (:I need to, yeah, I need to add to that disrespect because it's like, if you were to say, yes, I'm gonna stay home with my kids, nobody would ask you, how are you gonna handle that? Are you gonna be okay? Are you, good, your motherly instincts are gonna kick in, don't worry about you. You're like, nobody gives. Yeah, they're like, good, okay, you're fine. You'll be okay. You don't need support. I'm sorry, what?
Monica (:No. No, it'd be... Yeah, it would be an automatic assumption that it... Well, duh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Ashley (:Mm -hmm.
Kelsie (:Aren't you going crazy?
Ashley (:They'd actually write you off like, yeah, they'd be like, you're totally fine. Your mental health is fine. You're good. Bye. Yeah, exactly.
Monica (:UGH
Nicole (:So yeah, that's like the whole sentiment is just like it's rooted in disrespect. can't
Monica (:It's so much disrespect and I would way rather hear the question of like, are you guys good? Is this working for you? What do you need to be supported? Like, that's it. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, that's it.
Ashley (:Yeah.
Nicole (:Mm -hmm.
Keep your opinions to yourself and just ask me if we're doing okay.
Ashley (:Yeah.
Monica (:So on that note, thank you guys for tuning in with us today and joining in as we give each other a bunch of shit and talk about just everything. Thank you so much for listening. Be sure to follow us on social media at a little bit bothered and find us on YouTube, subscribe, like, give us some ratings. Like give us all the ratings, give us five stars.
Nicole (:Please.
Give us the ratings, give us the reviews, leave us comments. Do all the things, we love you.
Ashley (:comment all the things. We appreciate it.
Monica (:Yes, be sure to find your way to our DMs as well. Come get to know us if you don't know us already and share with us a little bit about what you are bothered with this week. And so we can share some stories on the podcast.
Ashley (:Please.
Nicole (:Mm -hmm.
Yes. Okay, love you, bye.
Ashley (:Yes, thank you all.
Monica (:Thank you. Love you, bye.
